bevlycharles

i used to smoke a pack of 25s reds a day
till i got broke spending all my money on spending all my money on
a mate offered paying for as long as it took till i got my monies back
but he'd only buy menthols. after getting over the taste, it was Good deal
came back here, same shit.
off for 3 weeks trying to quit fags
barely buy any now

bought a pack half a week ago, i had one left before i left the library today
didnt need all 19 i smoked, i only need a couple or one drag after food now
other then that, i was bored so why not

right now i need one , right now i cant find that one last one.
Mother fuck. I need my fucking ciggerette fix.
I fuckin need this fucking fag.



Fucking Shit . i feel fucking shit. like how a pansy little cock sucker would feel after getting battered and sodomized over n over again and left in the showers. mother fucka

i need my ciggy fix

fuck kid cudi, whyd i ever like him, most of his songs are faggoty

didja see charles hamilton getting punched by a chick

runplanepayoff shit youd be shattered

sometimes i go through portals, without consenting
i am pulled toward a room full of faded masks silently crying out to me
like magnets they feel my matching parts without any contact
pushing past existing tangibles

my oxygenated surroundings
my sensibilities
my self.

We are reunited like lovers pulled apart for countless seasons


we meet for the first time , overtaken by telepathic passion & sentiments......no verbalized string of alphabets can vindicate....

Is this why i am not easily satisfied? ... my many sides carelessly pushed under some disorganized office papers while i declare my one self, ego, super ego... my only parts

A well of fortune cookies, of snakes
and demons

pages of b&w letters, blood stained book edges, light so bright it has not yet existed.

its been kept away and only the dreary weighted darkness sinks down through and under until it oozes out for all of you

it is what i let myself become defined as.

A demon of less evils

An educator of sorts, to students that bewilder me.....

like canvases painted in monotonous stripes, i sit there listening to the repetitiveness of possibilities.

your heart is open, course but hurting.

your mind is focused on just one thing.

but the other of possibilities are old and repeated, rich yet bland. For me now.

i feel like my mind has been pinned on all four corners sometimes .

yes, while i sit there most of the time, a 1 dimensional square sheet of a mind is what becomes of the

sole thing that shrivels within boundaries and plain-vanilla nonevents

im missing straight lines
-i lost some
-i miss them during the short moments they were there
-i need to get them
but i gotta be straight first

because

im gaining black holes
-impulseimpulseimpulse!
-they take you to new places, so its not all bad
-skeptical skeptical
-Hi my name is...........

So many unnecessary units like toy soldiers never repainted
in between new and vintage with nothing much distinct about them
Left right left. Left right left. Attention. Salut. Facing front
Ever look behind? above?.. below..? to the left or to the right??
I figured.
Cause once i was all up in your face like.....
Damn you look familiar , what is it about you
Oh. Shit. Ya neck bolted like Frankenstein
Ya minds Rigid
Even he tells ya to let loose




Don't quite know how to start
If someone called me a social butterfly
I'd be one letting out poisonous pungent fumes from my acid green spots.

Pictures from that night soonish




JUMP AROUND LIKE YOU GOT ADHD ADHD! x2

Gareth Pugh from Purple Magazine on Vimeo.

when i get feelings of unfamiliar unreal subtle happiness
i choke on my words because of the expectations
WHUT!

maybe if i was simple in the mind everything would be fine
but im down and out trynna find a substance ta drown in
so embrace the martian day n nite
before this girl turns ta clovafieldd
and maui wowie cant help
WHUT!

I helped my uncle jack off a horse.
I helped my uncle,jack, off a horse.

i breed plague birds
birdz of nazerethh
swooping down like bullet proof diseases
every last dr dr drop they take n break
no mercy for there are no exceptions except for one
thats yet to be known..
yet to be flown.. amongst these birds
to redirect

fucken bitch ass mutha fucka
1. dont talk to me like ya know me
2. dont talk to me like ya know me

Wheres the liberty in "liberation" while standing/half standing above the pot during a diabetic aftermath. It looked like floor war 2 for them, lol siiiickkkkkkkkk.

Sic i felt liberated when i called out to you and the breeze which was you returned my invitation.... fuck it felt like you entered me through each pore both exposed+unexposed, or was it all just ignorance on my part ? ?

Partly because you know its true you come back so fast, party because you know you were...,:;"!// commafullstop despite my boorish opinion, maybe because u saw that reflection. or maybe you just wanted more. hahahahah flattering myself, or unflattering you,its true. true for everyone, its human nature , even for me. especially.

Especially when you call me a liar, i walk out i walk through i walk around i walk back i walk back into you here it is, eat back what you said. Dont talk about liberty dont talk about grace! dont talk about what you want from me when theres none for you to give.

dont talk about liberty dont talk about grace woopwoop

was on you still on you always on you, tranquilize the mind..

she swam the best between my reds!! expanding my head acing the test..she had she had she haddd...
Never knew which one really stood out , same with things that glitter and people who smile same same same as what i choose to lead to whats ahead, the same.
but one thing i was sure then about her was
each side each corner each high each low each peek lifted my feet
each taste each nostalgic picturesque i get flashed by as result of 309489203843029 neural connectors throughout my brain , OR WHEN SPAT N SPLASHED IN the face by insensitive saggy knob loser persons during their insensitive saggy knob loser moments, i remember.
It isnt important , i wouldnt say it was, no it isnt i mean im surviving arnt i ? but sometimes, i miss it, and im not referring to the aspect to which you would think i might be talkin about. ohhh no.
its this other side, think past your minds thought capabilities horizon, come talk.

second binge actually

You know what they say, Gluttonys one of the seven deadly sins



And its a sin that im prone to.
disgusto

i should be happy, but its like a realization that everybody will go their separate way
"shes daddy's favourite, daddy's jewel"



x(

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--
I never saw him dance, nor did sisters and mother
its like looking into a mirror except you see no flaws
a reflection of what should have been
__

Your father may not be that innocent